The creative process of writing is a hazardous endeavor sometimes. I started writing a novel “Star-The Book of Life” back in 2007. Since 2010, each year I thought I was done and ready to publish. But then, in the last minute, I would change my mind, thinking that there is more to say. And I was driving crazy my editors!
In this process, one novel, because of the amount of material coming out, became “Michael Nicolau Trilogy” and brought me to Portugal in order to finish it. Now two books of this trilogy (“The Lost life” and “Thief of Dreams”) are already in hands of the editor (God help me….) and I am working on the last book of the trilogy (“Star, The Book of Life”). And just about as I was at the height of the plot thinking how to get main characters of my book to the conclusion of the story, I got stuck….
And then, as I was looking through material I wrote before, I came across words I wrote on white napkin on November 27th 2013 (A day before Thanksgiving Holiday) in the Barnes & Nobles bookstore Café at 10:30 in the morning. And those words gave me a way out to complete my book. But this fact in itself would not be significant if I didn’t write this words just three hours before I had my first heart attack that brought me to the emergency room of the NY Hospital for the first time in my life… Nevertheless - my book will be done finally.
I apologize for sharing this very personal experience publicly, but I guess I spent too much time living in US. There, everything can be used as a marketing tool for a book. No limits… not even a heart attack….
So, here is the quote from this white napkin:
“You asked me if I am sad? I am -but not because you refuse my love. I am sad because you are suffering. And you are suffering because he rejects you. I know it is a simple human game of passions. You are after things that seem unreachable, not noticing those things that are here, right in front of you. I am here and you don’t recognize me. You keep posting massages, desperately waiting for him to respond to them. You don’t think that I would ever understand their true meaning. But if nothing else, those messages will put me away from you. They hurt. And our enemies that sent him to pretend to be the one -to be me - are rejoicing. And he is laughing because you keep giving him material to destroy me…. And the time is running out. Before next full moon I will have to destroy the Book of Life and disappear. But they know I will try to prolong that - to keep my promise… They are counting on that. They are counting on my love for you. They want to get the Book of Life and destroy me at the same time. So, I am asking myself – how far can I go? How much strength can I get from this already weakened human body? For how long can I compromise the safety of the Book of Life? For how long can I keep the secret of the triangle? You are the only one that has the answer. It is deep within your soul – the last door still unopened.”